How to (Actually) Enjoy Wedding Planning Together – Helpful Advice For Couples From an Aberdeenshire Wedding Photographer

Getting engaged is one of the most wonderful moments of your life!

However, before you know it, there’s venue visits, supplier emails, guest list debates, spreadsheets, Pinterest boards, budget chats… and you’ve somehow spent an entire week discussing chair layouts together.

Wedding planning is exciting, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a lot at times.

One thing I’ve noticed after photographing weddings across Aberdeenshire for years is that the couples who seem to enjoy the planning most aren’t necessarily the ones with the biggest budgets or the fanciest weddings. They’re the ones who find a way to make planning feel like something they’re doing together, rather than another thing to get through.

So if you’re in the middle of planning your own wedding and starting to feel like it’s taking over your life a wee bit, here are a few things I’d genuinely recommend to make the experience a bit more enjoyable for you both.

One of the biggest causes of wedding planning stress isn’t actually the planning itself, it’s when one person ends up carrying most of the mental load.

It usually doesn’t happen on purpose either. One person sends the first enquiry, starts keeping track of bookings, remembers when deposits are due, keeps an eye on the budget… and before long they’ve become the unofficial wedding planner without really meaning to.

I’ve spoken to lots of couples after their wedding who’ve said the thing that worked best was playing to their strengths instead of trying to split every single job equally. If one of you enjoys chatting to suppliers and organising things, brilliant. If the other is better at researching venues, sorting transport or putting together a playlist that’ll keep the dancefloor full, let them take ownership of that.

Wedding planning doesn’t have to be 50/50. It just needs to feel like you’re both involved and enjoying the process!

It’s amazing how quickly wedding planning can sneak into every evening.

You’ll sit down after work planning to watch a film, then someone says, “Should we just have a quick look at…” and suddenly you’re comparing table plans or replying to supplier emails. Before long, it feels like every conversation somehow comes back to the wedding.

Something I’ve heard couples say really helped was setting aside one evening each week that became their “wedding night”. They’d make a coffee or pour a glass of wine, get everything done they wanted to that evening, then close the laptop and leave it until the following week.

It sounds really simple, but it stops wedding planning becoming your whole relationship.

You’re still a couple first. The wedding is just one part of that!

Venue hunting is one of the best parts of planning, so don’t rush through it.

If you’re travelling somewhere in Aberdeenshire to view a venue, leave yourselves plenty of time. Go for lunch afterwards, stop for coffee on the way home, have a wander if you’re somewhere you’ve never been before. Some of my couples have said their venue visits became some of their favourite memories from the whole planning process because they treated them as little day trips rather than another job to tick off.

And don’t worry if you don’t immediately get that “this is the one” feeling either. Sometimes you know straight away. Sometimes you drive home, chat about it for a few days and realise you keep comparing every other venue back to that one. There’s no right or wrong way to choose.

With so much wedding inspiration online now, it’s incredibly easy to start comparing your plans to what other couples are doing. You might see a beautiful venue, a certain style of wedding or a trend that everyone seems to be including and suddenly wonder if you should be doing the same.

But the weddings that always stand out to me are the ones where couples have focused on what actually feels right for them. They’re not trying to recreate someone else’s day; they’re creating something that reflects their own personalities, priorities and relationship.

It’s completely fine if your wedding looks different from what you see online. Some couples love a big celebration with all the traditions, while others want something much smaller and more relaxed. Neither option is better. The best decisions are usually the ones that make sense for the two of you, not the ones you feel pressured into because they’re popular.

It’s easy to get caught up in seeing wedding planning as one big to-do list that needs to be completed before the big day arrives. But there are actually so many little moments throughout the process that are worth enjoying too.

Booking your venue, choosing your photographer, finding your outfits or sending out your invitations are all exciting steps that bring the wedding day a little closer. Try not to rush past them just because there’s still more to organise.

I’ve spoken to couples after their weddings who say they actually miss parts of the planning process like the excitement of making decisions together, visiting venues and watching everything slowly come together.

So take the time to celebrate those wee wins along the way. Go for a meal after booking your venue, open a bottle of something when your invitations arrive, or just take a moment to appreciate that this is all part of your story too. The wedding day is the main event, but the lead-up is something you only get to experience once!

If there’s one thing I’d say to every couple planning a wedding, it’s this…

Don’t be in such a rush to get to the wedding day that you forget to enjoy getting there. This stage only happens once and there’ll always be another email to reply to or another decision to make…but there’ll also be evenings where you can head out for dinner instead, weekends spent visiting venues together and all those little moments where the day starts to come together.

Those are part of your story too and try to enjoy them where you can.

If you’re currently planning your wedding and looking for more honest, experience-led advice, you’re in the right place. Every month I share a new blog packed with helpful tips I’ve picked up from photographing real weddings across Aberdeenshire.

And if you’re looking for an Aberdeenshire wedding photographer for your 2027 or 2028 wedding, I’d love to hear all about your plans. Feel free to get in touch for a chat whenever you’re ready.